I was in quarantine for 14 days, the COVID routine for people making international tours. It was just 6 days, I returned from India, after a very satisfied vacation with family. 30 Jan, 2021, morning 3AM JST, my phone was ringing silently for 100 times and I was in deep sleep. Phone still screaming, wanting my attention, but my eyes, were taking the most calm, quiet and relaxed sleep. It was 6 am, when my eyes opened, it was my mother’s birthday. Unlocked my phone, I see missed calls from different numbers, in whatsapp, messenger and normal calls. Some were from my brother’s friends and some were unknown. There were 100 messages, they all said ‘Akka, please call us immediately’. Hands were already shivering, heart was beating in louder pace and I already had short breath. The call was ringing and a boy picks up, I just asked him one question, ‘Where is Pavan’?. There was no voice, I asked him again, ‘Please tell me he is fine’. The young boy was shivering too, he said Akka, please calm down. I asked him again, I beg you, please just tell me he is alive. He could say only single word – No.
Very next moment, I shouted at the boy, told him, give phone to his hand, I need to talk to him right now. I begged his leg, don’t play, take him hospital, please save him, I can do everything. The boy got scared of my voice, I kept shouting, ‘I know nothing happened, he is alive, just take hime to hospital. That boy was way too young to handle this, and I was helpless. I was thousand miles away, I was alone, I was scared, I was shattered, I did not know what was next. I called back, another guy received, I told him again, ‘Listen, he is a strong kid, his body is strong, you can still save him, please do something, I will hold your feet. He said, Akka, it was a road accident, he hit a lorry. I said, please take him to hospital, he is alive. The boy was trembling, he said, sorry akka, it was spot. I kept shouting, crawling on floor with phone in hand. My throat was burning, my body felt like useless, my mind was running and my heart holding loudest screams for even today.
It was 2:30 AM in India, I knew my parents are having their last sound sleep for their life. My father, always wakes up at 4:00 AM, talks to me for a while and then starts his day. My mother wakes up at 7 AM, and it was her birthday. I called my cousin, few people are saying Pavan is no more, go please tell me it is not true. He was in sleep, he had no idea what I was saying, I begged him, go please say it is not true. I was in panic, I had to call my dad, but cannot say nothing. I called him, talked as usual, asked him if he is doing fine, and after a couple of minutes when my voice started stumbling, I said, Pappa, can I call you later? He said, ok, I am in front of temple, will buy some breakfast and go home. My throat was hurting, my stomach was burning, I had no control over my body and my tears. In no time, it was time for my mother to wakeup. The routine, is I call her as soon as she wakes up. Wiped my tears, had a glass of water, sat down, said to myself, I will wish my mother a happiest birthday, one last time. She wanted a video call, I denied, I took the call, I said to her, ‘Amma, wish you happiest birthday amma. She was so happy, she told me ‘Thank you deva, where is Pavan? he did not wish me yet’. My voice was not sounding I guess, but with only little energy I said, ‘Amma, he might be sleeping, he will call once he wakes up’. That was it, not single word I could utter. I am speechless even today.
It was most longest, scariest, deadliest day of my life. Even today, my heart says, he is around me. It’s almost 5 years now, my heart still believes that was the most bad dream. But, let me also remind you, that’s life. A very short and unknown story. But, I did not know it is so short that you might never get to say a goodbye. When I hugged him before leaving India, I never knew it was very last time, I will ever see him. It was the the end of a most happy, short story. In this 5 years, I have asked myself many questions, which I did not even think of before 30th Jan 2021. One which I want to open for everyone : Are you living a life that makes ‘YOU’ happy?
